Sunday, October 26, 2008

kids at the wheel

I'm shopping at Haggen's, but before I start checking off my list and marching the aisles like I mean it, I stop by the Chinese food counter and order a small container of honey-glazed chicken. If you've never had Haggen's honey-glazed chicken, you probably shouldn't be giving me those looks.

The boy who scoops my chicken asks me if I want any sauce.

"Sure," I say. "How about some hot mustard?"

He's "down with that." And then, as if to cement my thoughts about his youthfulness, he drops my packet of hot mustard on the floor, glances around wildly, picks it up slowly, and asks, "Uh ... Do you still want this?"

I stare at the boy, wondering why he thinks I wouldn't want it just because it hit the floor.


Moments later, while meandering and comparing unit prices, I pick at my chicken and run through my shopping list, but my thoughts return more than once to that boy. I'd clearly presented him with a scenario not covered in his employee manual. At no point in his training had he been prepared for dropped hot mustard packets.

When my cart complains, I maneuver the mound to the checkout counter. There I stumble straight into a flirty spat between a tall, gangly boy and a short, giggly girl. The two banter while I fumble for my Haggen's "special shopper" card.

"Yeah?" he says to her. "Well, you're not the boss of me."

"Yes, I am," she answers.

"Nuh huh. John is the boss of me."

"But I'm the boss of the front end, so I'm the boss of you."

"I'm not doing what you say," he tells her.

"I hate you," she says back.

"Well, if you hate me, why are you talking to me?"

She squeals and slaps his arm.

"Original, Brittany. That was real original."

And I stand there waiting for my total, and realizing that one of two things has happened. Either the world is now being run by 12-year olds, or I've gotten old.

That's an easy choice. Obviously, the 12-year olds have taken over.

6 Comment:

At 10/26/2008 7:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous had this to say ...

Oh Shannon,
You crack me up...I am only 23 and I feel like the 12 year olds are taking over so yes...they are!!!

~Angela Starr

At 10/26/2008 8:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous had this to say ...

I'm down with that too--it's the 12year olds, like for sure! And like, you should totally see what they act like on at the local community colleges--oh my gosh, like I feel so old in class and I'm only 30! Like can anyone younger than 22 have a serious opinion about something other than propaganda? Oops, sorry, like I meant pop-culture, not propaganda.

Shannon, that was a funny post! I enjoyed reading it. And you are HARDLY getting old, not at all.


At 10/26/2008 8:49 PM, Blogger Cyndy had this to say ...

I'm so glad that I'm not the only person that's noticed this phenomenon.

At 10/27/2008 4:31 PM, Blogger Christabelle had this to say ...

Laugh out loud! That was great! No, I think you are right, 12-year-olds are taking over. I was thinking that when I met our replacement at the bank and I'm thinking, "Wow, you can't be much older than my brother!"

I love that community college comment, by the way. Nothing like being in a political science class and having the professor ask, "okay, now who here is old enough to vote?"

At 10/27/2008 9:55 PM, Blogger Nancy had this to say ...

Oh, I was gonna go with the old one... but if you want to go with the 12 yr old one knock yourself out!!!

Ha ha ha just kidding :)

Love ya

At 11/05/2008 7:51 AM, Blogger suzzanne had this to say ...

You know it is the 12 year olds. Last week I went to the doctor, had to see a speialist and I am pretty sure his name was Doogie Howser. I thought I was getting old at 32, I have never had a doctor younger than me before. I am glad to know it's because we have a genration of genius born in 1996.


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