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Monday, April 04, 2005


echoes

Zac was only two when we started our goat adventure. No doubt, that played a big part in our decision to name the two brother goats "Grover" and "Elmo." I have no idea why we named the third "Mama Goat," unless it was the fact that she was old enough to have given birth to the other two. Or maybe our brains were tuckered.

Mama Goat had horns--sharp, scary horns. I liked her fine when I went out alone to feed her, and didn't give her pointy weapons a second thought, but whenever Zac toddled after me, I went into full-alert.

"No, no, Zac. Stay away from that one. That goat has horns that will hurt you."

The alarm in my voice chased his natural curiosity. He'd give her a solemn glance and slide a step or two closer to me.

I must have warned him plenty, because one afternoon, when my dad came to visit, we took him out to the goat pen to introduce him to the rest of the family.

"Zac, tell Grandpa Mike what the goats' names are," I prompted.

He pointed to the two brothers first. "That's Grover, and that's Elmo." Then he aimed his pudgy little finger toward Mama Goat. "And that's 'Horns-That-Will-Hurt-You.'"

It's funny what they pick up--and what they repeat.

I got another reminder a few months later when we left Zac with my uncle one evening and went out for a high-chairless dinner in a no-baby restaurant. We weren't gone long. When we returned, Uncle Doug was laughing his head off.

"You'll never guess what I just overheard," he said. He then set up the scene: he was reading the paper upstairs in the kitchen, Zac was playing with his toy cars in the den just below the kitchen. The railings between the kitchen and the lower den allowed Uncle Doug to hear every screech and motor rev.

After driving one car around the floor for a few minutes, Zac said,in a high, momish voice, "Dave ... slow down."

Upstairs, Uncle Doug grinned.

Zac drove the car another lap around the carpet, and then said again--in my voice, only a tad more insistent this time--"Dave, I said, 'slow down.'"

Apparently, the imaginary Dave didn't obey the imaginary me. Because after one more trip around the imaginary track, Zac crashed his car into another. As the dust settled, he said, "See, Dave? I told you to slow down."

It's true, you know, that little pitchers have big ears.

Recently, while out shopping, I got another reminder. If I haven't mentioned before, my new love is knitting. I was out on a yarn quest, down on my hands and knees in front of a bin at the craft store, when I heard a dad and daughter arguing. I looked up and saw them walking past my aisle. The little imp was adorable, and no more than three. He held her on his hip. Just as they passed my view, I heard him say, "Why don't you just shut up? I'm sick of your crap!" and without missing a beat, she said right back, "Yeah? Well, I'm sick of your crap!"

Oh, there are so many better things we can pass on to our children. Since we know they're listening, and we know they're little mina birds and love nothing more than appropriating our words and mimicking our tone and throwing it all right back at us, maybe we could give a little more thought to the words we pass along.

"I was wrong" is nice. Especially if it's followed up with, "I'm sorry ... will you forgive me?" And you can never make a mistake with "I'm proud of you" or "I'm glad you're mine" or, best of all, "I love you."

When we're purposeful about our legacy, when we take just a half second to think about the words we're releasing into the air, we sometimes get rewarded with unexpected and wonderful surprises. Sometimes, those echoes come back to us.

When Zac was little, the last thing I used to tell him every night, before turning out his little Ninja Turtle lamp, was, "I always wanted a boy just like you."

One night, after I'd had a long, hard day and really needed a back rub or a milk chocolate Dove bar or something equally comforting, Zac appeared in the doorway to my office and popped his head in. "Know what, Mama?" he said. "I always wanted a mom just like you."

I'm so glad he listened.

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8 Comment:

At 4/04/2005 7:52 AM, Blogger ddddddddddddddddddddd had this to say ...

YOU made me cry at work. Not sad tears, but happy joyful tears. FOR that is exactly how and what I have been saying to my own little kidlets. Thank you for these pearls to cherish in my heart during my day at work.
Love and hugs,
Joe

 
At 4/04/2005 11:01 AM, Blogger Jimmy had this to say ...

Thanks, Shannon. My parents raised us by always letting us know how much we were loved and wanted, even when we were misbehaving. And, that is what turned us into loving adults toward our own families and friends. I think this also applies to our 'church children' as well as our biological children. Thanks for reminding me of this important role for us adults.
Jimmy

 
At 4/04/2005 11:44 AM, Blogger Monica had this to say ...

Joe-Cowboy emailed me and told me I would like your blog. He's right and YOU are right-our kids are listening; it's up to us to decide what we want them to pick up.

Great, GREAT writing!

 
At 4/04/2005 12:17 PM, Blogger VI had this to say ...

Wonderful.
I hope this is my situation one day.
Enjoy him as I hear the grow up wayy to fast.

 
At 4/04/2005 1:51 PM, Blogger Macromoments had this to say ...

Shannon, you've written a message that can't be shared enough. Thank you. Your kids are blessed to have you.

 
At 4/04/2005 5:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous had this to say ...

Shannon:
Thanks again for the great reminder what a blessing our children are to us and the reminder to love them as long as we have them. Cora

 
At 4/04/2005 5:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous had this to say ...

Shannon:
Thanks again for the great reminder what a blessing our children are to us and the reminder to love them as long as we have them. Cora

 
At 4/05/2005 6:12 AM, Blogger Jennifer had this to say ...

That is so beautiful and so true! We all need to be reminded that little pitchers have big ears. Thank you for reminding me!

 

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