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Sunday, March 20, 2005


abba

My daughter was almost three before I first laid eyes on her. I'd gone to the home of a new friend to swap stories and get acquainted. Not long into our talk, Kari said, "Wanna take a peek at my new foster daughter?" I did, so we tiptoed upstairs and to the last door on the right. When the light from the hall burst into her room and over her little toddler bed, Tera lifted a head full of blonde curls and turned mischievous eyes toward me.

"Hey! You're supposed to be asleep," Kari said, but there was a smile in her voice.

I reached out and touched Tera's head, and the moment I felt her hair beneath my fingers, I thought, Lord, I would love for this to be my daughter. My reaction startled me. After thirteen failed adoptions, Dave and I had concluded that God was saying no to another child. We'd agreed not to try again.

But apparently God had not said no. Doors opened. After a few pounds of paperwork and a few months of classes and visits from social workers, we got our foster adopt license. Two other families expressed interest in taking Tera, but the state chose us.

In all that time, she never knew how hard we worked to ready ourselves and our home for her. She didn’t know about the hour I spent at the home improvement store debating between the bunny border and the one with the roses, wondering which one she’d like best. I settled for the bunnies--but worried all the way home that I'd made the wrong choice. She didn't know that.

Nor did she know how much my heart hurt each time I visited and she called me “Shannon.” I felt a desperate longing to be “Mommy.”

We were Tera's foster parents for fourteen months before we stood in a court and heard a judge declare us to be a permanent family. In Tera's eyes, it didn't happen with the drop of a gavel. It took her awhile to believe we were her family. And it was a long time before I stopped being “Shannon.” But I'll never forget the moment she slipped me a shy smile and whispered, “Mommy.” It was worth the wait.

Sometimes the Lord waits a long time for his child to realize he’s not just God, Creator, and Savior--he's also Abba. He's Father.

But he's willing to wait too.

“But you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, ‘Abba! Father!’” Romans 8:15 (NASV)

10 Comment:

At 3/20/2005 8:19 AM, Blogger Macromoments had this to say ...

Shannon, this is BEAUTIFUL:
"Sometimes the Lord waits a long time for his child to realize he’s not just God, Creator, and Savior--he's also Abba. He's Father."

Your blog is such a blessing!

 
At 3/20/2005 6:24 PM, Blogger TaraMetBlog had this to say ...

That's a great story and it sounds like you are all lucky to have one another. Tera looks like a beautiful girl.

~Tara

 
At 3/21/2005 7:13 AM, Blogger Darlene had this to say ...

She is so cute, you are one blessed family.

This line choked me up and brought tears to my eyes:

"But I'll never forget the moment she slipped me a shy smile and whispered, “Mommy.” It was worth the wait."

We never realize the detours that God sends us on are only to lead us to the perfect place where we would have been heading straight for, in the first place. If only we knew.

 
At 3/21/2005 8:08 AM, Blogger eli had this to say ...

:)))))

 
At 3/21/2005 1:05 PM, Blogger HerWryness had this to say ...

Tears of joy for you all. And for being His child.

 
At 3/21/2005 2:10 PM, Blogger Jennifer had this to say ...

You take my breath away! That was beautiful.

 
At 3/22/2005 5:29 PM, Blogger Liz had this to say ...

Wow. Amazing story.

 
At 3/22/2005 8:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous had this to say ...

Oh' He knows too well that some things are well worth the wait! Jake

 
At 5/17/2005 10:57 PM, Blogger Hannah had this to say ...

Thank you. This post was the encouragement I needed tonight. We are in the very begining of our journey to foster/adopt and it seems like such a long process. You have a beautiful daughter.

 
At 5/11/2007 6:20 PM, Anonymous ciara had this to say ...

that was a beautiful story. it's so wonderful how things like that happen right when you think they never, ever will.

 

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